Sucker

One night driving along North Circular ,this girl puts her hand out for Waffler,s Taxi.

Waffler pulls over and the girl gets in and then gets out  and looks up at the taxi sign and gets back in and says ,”Oh you’re a taxi “.

“Hello”, says Waffler,”Why do you think i stopped and why did you put your hand out “.

“Ok,I need to get to Clondalkin”,she says.

“I have only 2 euros”,she says,”In my country the taxis are much cheaper than here,this trip would only cost 2 euros”.”Where are you from?”,he says..”I am from Uganda,she says..

“You can get a bus,that will be cheaper than a taxi,”he says…”No no,i want to go with you”,she says

“Sorry love but its a long drive to there, it will cost about 20 euros”,he says.

With that she opens her handbag ,which was huge and whips out a phone.

“You can have this phone if you bring me home and also give me 20 euros”,she says.

He looks at the phone and says,”you’ve gotta be kidding me”.

“Wait,wait,i have an iphone4,you can have that for the same price”,she says.

Waffler can't believe.his luck and he has a quick look at it and it looks ok .

“Wait ,i need to take out my sim card “,she says.

“Ok ,thats a deal”,says Waffler.

So they head off and they had only got 5 minutes up the road when the girl says,

“Can i have my phone back ,please.”

“What”,says Waffler as he pulls over to the kerb.

“No prob ,just give me the 20 euros back and we can go our separate ways”,says he.

“Only joking”,she says,”drive on”.

“Are you sure ,its your choice,so let's shake on it and thats the end of it,i don't want you asking for the phone when we get there”,he says.

“No its ok ,go go”,she says.

They get to their destination and its a really rough part of Clondalkin,.and they turn on to a cul de sac and there is a gang of rough looking blokes at the corner and the girl says,”Them irish guys have beaten me up and robbed me before,Will you wait till i get inside”

“No prob” ,he says,”but will you be quick ,i don't. want to hang around myself”.

She gets out and goes in and as the Waffler approached the corner to get out of there,one of the gang put there hand out as if to hail his taxi,Waffler slowed down and put his indicator on as if to stop,But as soon as he came beside them he took off like a rocket and one of them threw a rock at the car and they all tried to chase after him but he was lucky ,he got away.

Next day the Waffler takes out the iphone and shows it to his daughter.

“Da”,she laughs,”This is not an iphone,its a copy,How did you not know ?”.

“Oh no , i was suckered”,he says.

“Ah well there's one born every day”,he says.

They both had a good laugh about it and about a week later ,Waffler was telling the story to his in-laws,and one of them says,”This is your lucky day Waffler,I am upgrading my phone ,you can have my old iphone 4,just pay me the 80 euros i paid to get a new screen on it”.

“Happy days,”said the Waffler,”Alls well that ends well. .

A Rainy night in Dublin

Waffler was driving along  O'Connell st in his taxi and could barely see out of the window with all the heavy rain bouncing off the window.This guy in a black leather jacket ,jeans and a big mop of red hair whistles with his hand outstretched from a doorway.Waffler pulls up a few metres past the guy .The guy opens the back door, puts what looked like a big black bag on the back seat and then jumps in the front seat beside Waffler .
"Where to?",says He.
"Phibsboro,and make it quick",says Redser
"Horrible night",says Waffler.
"Just drive",says Redser.
"Okey dokey".
As they are approaching their destination,Redser shouts,"Stop here".
Waffler pulls over and the meter reads 6 euros,and before he gets a chance to say the fare,Redser opens the door throws 15 euros on the seat and runs off down the road.
"Happy days",he thought to himself,"nice tip".
With that he proceeded to do a u-turn and just when he was halfway through it ,when he heard a big scream come from the back seat ,"Where the feck do you think you're going?".
Waffler jams the brakes ,WTF,he thinks and looks behind him and there behind him is this tiny little woman.
"I am going to Ballymun,Did you forget about me?".

"Jeez ,i did not know you were there",he says.
What he thought was a black bag that Redser threw in the back seat was actually this little bundle dressed in black.
"Dont mind that Bollix,we had a Bull and Cow",she says,as she climbs over the seat and jumps in the front seat
 beside him nearly taking his head off with her Stilettos
They head to Ballymun and The little woman never stopped waffling and poor oul Waffler couldn't get a word in edge ways.
They  pull up outside her house and still she carries on with her yapping ,the meter is gone past the 15 euros at this stage .
Finally she stops talking ,looks at the meter which is at 22 euros,and says "How much did he give you ?".
"15",says he.
"The miserable shite,i have no money,hang on till i have a look in my handbag",she says.
"You're going to have to call back tomorrow for the rest of the money ,cause all i have is 1 euro."
"Here take it anyway",she says as she opens the door and points to her house and says,"That's my house,come back tomorrow".She closes the door and heads in to her house trying to balance herself on her Stilettos.
Poor Waffler what he thought was a handy tip turned into a loss.(He never went back for the rest of the fare).