One quiet night ,Panda is at the rank in O’Connell st,
He’s waiting there so long he’s nearly nodding off.
Next a guy on crutches comes to the front passenger door.
Just as he’s getting in , the back doors open and 2 brutes get in , one each side.
“Take us up to Lucan “, says the guy in the front.
“Okey dokey” ,says Panda.
They go up the Quays then past Heuston Station , then next one of the brutes drops his shorts and sticks his bare bum against
Panda is horrified .
Cars going by start honking their horns.
“Ah ,lads cut it out “,says Panda.
Panda slows down and starts to pull over.
The guy in the front says,”Lads, calm down ,sorry about that “.
The brutes calm down……for a few minutes then get very hyper.
Panda knows he’ll have a problem getting rid of the brutes.
One of the Brutes announces that he’s “lee Marvin “(starving).
“Stop at the next chipper ,Boss”, he says to Panda.
“This could be a way out “,thinks Panda to himself.
The 2 Brutes jump out each door and go into the Chipper.
Panda was left with the guy with the crutches in the front.
“Are you not hungry yourself”, says Panda to him.
“No boss,I ate a mountain of stuff earlier”, he says to Panda.
“Do I drive off with this guy and leave the 2 Brutes and take my chances as I don’t feel safe with the brutes getting back in “, thought panda.
Panda then says to the guy,” You know what,I’m Lee Marvin too ,will you go into the lads and get me a Bag of Chips “.
“Ah Boss , I’m on crutches , I don’t think so “, says the guy.
“Here’s 2 euros for my chips and here’s another 2 if you want to get yourself a drink”, says Panda.
“Why can’t you go in yourself “,says the guy.
“I can’t for insurance reasons leave the car”, says Panda.
The guy is himming and hawing.
Panda looks in his rear view mirror and one of the Brutes emerges from the chipper, then he stops reaches into his pocket and takes out a box of cigs and lights one up.
“Please ,here’s the 4 euro , will you go in for me..”,says Panda.
The guy reluctantly agrees and opens the door and steps out.
He then sees his mate having a smoke.
“Seamie,come here will ya “, crutch guy says to one of the Brutes.
“It’s now or never”, thinks Panda .
The Brute called Seamie starts walking towards the Taxi.
The crutch guy is standing holding the door.
With that Panda takes off like a rocket , the guy is left standing there.
Panda pulls up a few metres away,” There’s your crutches “, as he drops them out of the car.
The Brute Seamie is running for the car shouting obscenities.
Panda takes off again.
“Phew , that was a close call “,thinks panda.
“Right I’m going home, I’m Lee Marvin “,Panda laughs as he heads off.
