"TINY IN MY COUNTWY"".

One Thursday about Midnight ,Johnner drives his Taxi
over O'Connell Bridge, and Then outside Mc Donalds on
O'Connell Street 2 girls and a Guy Hail him over.
"Allo,We are going to 3 Locations ,Please Sir !",says 1 Girl.
The Guy sits in the Front seat and 2 Girls in Back.
The 3 of Them converse in their own language.
Johnner drops Both Girls off in Different
Parts of the Northside of Dublin.
The Meter was showing 25 Euro at this stage,and Then
 The Guy shows Johnner his address which was back on the South
side of County Dublin.
"Happy Days ",thinks Johnner to himself.
"I lave long time fron ere ", says the Guy.
"Yes,Indeed you do ",says John.
" I ober ere larning inglish".
"How long have you been in Dublin ?",says Johnner.
"Lang, Lang tome ",he says.
They cross back over the Liffey ,then up by Merrion Square,By
Leeson street ,Through Donnybrook then onto N11.
Then after been quiet for awhile the Guy perks himself
up his seat and says,
"Have yo gat bag goc ?"
"Huh", grunts Johnner.
"Yo gat miny galfriend ?", He says.
"Just a Wife ,one is plenty", says Johnner smiling.
"Yo gat Bag Goc ?", says the Guy pointing at his Middle finger.
Johnner shrugs his Shoulders.

" I gat Baby Goc", He says pointing at half of an unlit
Cigarette in His Hand.
Johnner just smiles and shrugs his Shoulders.
"In Ma countwy all man ave Baby Goc ",He says.
"Ladies in Ma Countwy like foreign man cause
Dey ave Bag Goc".
" I like Man not Ladies and I Gat Bag Fit Fangers ", He says smiling.
" Too much Information ,Buddy ", says Johnner.
" Vat you Say ",He says.
" Never mind , you've arrived at your Destination",says Johnner smiling.
The guy pays a nice sum and gets out.
"Now Thats What I call Entertainment ", says Johnner laughing
to himself as He Pulls away.

Bunny boiler

SICKNER

One night Johnner was driving his Taxi through Dublin City Centre
at about 3 am.
Next up ahead he sees a couple in their full Wedding Attire,
She in her white wedding dress and Himself in His hired suit.
"Not a common sight at this hour of the morning", thinks Johnner.
The Bride darts her left hand out,proudly showing off
Her wedding ring.
Johnner pulls over and the couple unsteadily climb on board.
" Can you take us to our Hotel ,Guv? ", says the guy in a cockney accent.
" Yes, Whats the name of Hotel ?", says Johnner.
"You have me there ,Mate,I ain't got a fooking clue",He says.
"You better ring your Bruv ", says the Bride.
"Good idea ,girl ",He says.
He gets the name of Hotel off his Bruv and Johnner takes off.
"We only got married today ,Mate",He says to Johnner.
"I kinda guessed that ", says Johnner smiling.
"This is a great city ,We have lots of friends here so we
decided to take the plunge here", says the Groom.
"Guinness is lovely here ,Back home it doesn't taste as nice",says the Bride.
Halfway to Hotel the Bride falls asleep and the Groom is a bit
of a Chatterbox chewing the ears of Johnnner.
Next Johnner hears a gurgle from behind him
where the Bride was seated.
"You alright ,Babe ?",says the Groom.
The Bride muttered something inaudible.
Next a fountain of Black puke flies out of her mouth.
"Oh ,no",says Johnner .
Johnner pulls over and the Bride turns towards the Groom
and pukes a second time all over the Groom.
" Oh ,Babe ,what have you done?", says the Groom.
Next the Groom jumped out of the Taxi and ran around to
where his Wife was.
He then lifted her out of the Taxi and carried her over to a wall
and positioned her there.
Her Wedding Dress was no longer White but decorated with Black
Pearls of puke.
The  Groom had a puke pattern all over the side of his Head and suit.
Johnner's Taxi was in a pool of puke on the floor and patterned on doors
and seats with puke.
"Sorry about that ,Mate, ?", says the Groom.
"I have to charge you a soilage fee", says Johnner.
The Groom pays Johnner the fee.
The Bride starts puking again at the wall.
Johnner directs the Groom to a 24 hour convenience store nearby.
Johnner gets back into his Taxi and nearly throws up.
The stench is overpowering.
He drives to a nearby Petrol Station holding a hankerchief to his mouth and
nose.
He spends the next 1 and a half hour cleaning up,
and then drives home.
Next day he brings it to get valeted.

SAUCER EYES

Driving down through Phibsborough one night at about Midnight,
A guy flags down Panda.
He jumps into front seat.
"Take me to some late night Bar in Town",He says.
"No probs , Temple Bar ?",says Panda.
"Suppose so, 7 Euro a pint, Fooking rip off",He says.
When they were about halfway there the guy bends forward
 And whips out a tiny
bag  and takes a sniff.
"WTF",says Panda.
"You don't mind ,Buddy ?", He says.
"I do ,Actually Buddy ", says Panda.
The guy turns towards Panda and his eyes are the size of Saucers.
"Tonight is my last night of freedom, I'm getting locked up Tomorrow ",He says.
The guy kept rolling down the window ,screaming out at people.
Panda pulled over to kerb and asked Saucer eyes to get out.
"Just take me to Town and I'll be out of your Taxi,okay ?",He says aggressively.
Panda looked at the Guy and knew the Guy was trouble so He
Decided it would be easier to bring him to Town.
"Phew ,glad to be here ", thought Panda as they arrived in Town.
"Bet your glad to get rid of me? ", says the Guy.
" To be Honest ,yes I am ", says Panda.
The Guy just laughed as he paid Panda and got out of Cab.
Panda headed away asap.